SO MUCH TO BE THANKFUL FOR!!!

Hey Peeps,

How are you all doing and trust you had a fabulous weekend.....This weekend for me was quite slow as I was recorvering from the flu....yeah I got bitten by the flu bug during the week and had to go into the hospital for 3 whole days, scary right? especially when I was told I could not have my 8 months old son that I still nurse through the night stay with me in the hospital.

Anyways I'm thankful I'm out and reunited with my family again (huge smiley face).

The season is upon us again, yeah its that time of the year again when people are generally happy and have so much to be thankful for. As for me, I have tooooo much to be thankful for in 2012. God has indeed been too faithful to me and my household that if i start testifying now it will take ages for me to finish what He did in this 2012 alone.

My God is indeed a God of signs and wonders, He healed, delivered, uplifted, improved, increased, elevated, promoted, satisfied, provided, protected, strengthened, transformed........gosh i can go on and on and on.......that's how great my God is, I dont know about you though but I am truly happy and blessed for 2012 had its challenges and it eventually came with mighty blessings.

I just want to encourage you today, you may think He has not fulfilled all the promises He made to you this year but look around you for a minute and see that He has been very good in so many areas, He kept you alife (so many people passed on this year and I lost a dear friend) but you are still here; that on its own is enough testimony, you are healthy, no matter how hard its been, you still manage to find food to eat and you have shelter over your head (lots of people live under the bridge and have no food to eat or clean water to drink).

Its time to quit whining and be thankful for the little thigns we have. By the way the year has not ended, so there is still room for more blessings to happen.

Be cheerful this season, show love to the people around you, share your food and drink, you never know, you might just minister to an Angel.

God bless you and do have a very merry Christmas celebration and remember that Jesus is the only reason for the season (do what He will do if you were Him).

Enjoy!!!!

HUSBAND BEATER

I read the story below in Bella Naija blog and it was quite hilarious and I thot to share it:

Alleged Maltreatment & Lack of CarePosted on Tuesday, November 20th, 2012 at 8:46 AM
By Adeola Adeyemo

On an almost regular basis, we hear news of wives seeking dissolution of their marriages on grounds of domestic violence and maltreatment from their husbands. On the other hand, reading news of a husband seeking for divorce from a wife who maltreats him isn’t so common.

On Monday 19th November 2012, a 32-year-old trader, Sunday Olagoke,  pleaded with the Grade ‘B’ Customary Court, Orile- Agege , Lagos to dissolve his 16-year-old marriage, alleging maltreatment by his wife. The News Agency of Nigeria reports that he told the court he wanted dissolution based on “threat to life, constant fighting, lack of care and absence of love”.

The report further stated that he testified in tears that his wife, Christianah, treated him like a slave, ruined his business and did not respect his family.

“My wife does not cook for me, the worst is that she beats me whenever I confront her. She behaves like a man and I was scared of her all through the period we were together. We had no issue together, we lived like cat and mouse and she eventually left the house a year ago without telling me. I really suffered in her hands; I was the wife while she was the husband. But I thank God it is now over,” he said.

The trader, told the court that his wife ruined his business before she left him.

“I taught her how to trade, I made her my accountant and she ruined my business. I do not know where she took my money to, she owed many people money in my name. I heard she is now married to another man and I want the court to dissolve the marriage so that I will be free from her bondage.”

The Court President, Mr. Joseph Adewusi, told the petitioner to maintain the peace and adjourned the case till November 29 for judgment.

Domestic violence has been the cause of break up of many marriages and it is sad that it is not only a trend, but that it is manifested in different forms. What are your thoughts on this story? Have you heard of any marriage where a wife beats her husband? What could be the cause?

BE ALERT, BE AWARE & BE WARNED!!!

Hello Peeps,

Been a while I wrote on this blog, actually its since I wrote the tribute to my late friend and colleague Abdul Saliu (may his soul rest in perfect peace).

My thought this morning is on the way forward on raising our children in these times. I was in City of David yesterday (family sunday) and Pastor Praise Fowowe further opened our eyes to the dangers our children are exposed to on a daily basis.

He said something that really got me thinking, he said most parents are raising 21st century children with 18th century knowledge, how can this work??? As our children are constantly been exposed to internet and google is at the click of a button. We no longer have control of the information they access.

1 out of every 6 boys and girls under the age of 6 has been sexually abused, and this abuse is not by strangers because parents have succeeded in teaching these children not to talk to strangers, but what have we taught them about family members, house helps and other friends that are predators?

Most parents think its too young to start talking to the kids about their bodies and sex, but from the age of 18 months, most kids are already exposed to so many negative things that you will actually be doing yourself a favor in giving them this information before the world now interprets these information negatively to them.

Who do your kids call Aunties and Uncles, how often are your kids exposed to the drivers, house helps, laundry guys and other domestic staff? Who lives in your house? Who do you leave your kids with? Do you know the kind of company they keep in school? Do you have enough time to generally listen to your children because most parents are too busy that they leave the schools and helps to raise their children.

Our schools are now business centers that they have lost the real values and morals, they allow any and everything all in the name of making money. Kids hardly play out doors like we did when we were growing up, their play mates is now the internet and cartoons on cable TV. Most of these cartoon promote same sex relationships and other negative things that we need to protect our kids from.

I implore us as parents to be more sensitive and mindful of our wards, pay attention to our kids, be available each time they need us, as it is our responsibility and our primary assigment and priority should be them.

If you have any comments or contributions on this topic, let's share to enlighten people, mostly let's pray that our kids will constantly be in good hands at all time.

I HATE LIES............

I hate lies especially when its told by someone you hold in very high esteem, I know that in some or most cases you need to tell a few white lies just to get by......cos hey we all do that. My concern majorly is when you lie about things that you know the concequences will be very grave when the truth eventually comes out.

This is going to be a feedback session, let me hear from you if you have been lied to by someone you trust so much and think always have your back no matter what.

How did you deal with it when you found out and how has the relationship been since then?

TRIBUTE TO A DEAR FRIEND!!!!

This is the hardest article I have ever written....the death of my dear friend and colleague Abdul Saliu.

He was indeed a great guy, humble, full of respect for the least person, dedicated and (words truly fail me). the day I recieved the news of his death is one day i dont ever want to remember, I cried my eyes out for 3 days in a row because I just kept remembering all the good stuff we did together and what a great guy he truly was, it is with death like this that you really want to question God why He will allow such a good man to go like that. All in all we are deeply consoled for the kind of life he lived here on earth, he's never one to hold on to petty things, he's truly happy when people around him are happy.

I walked in to the office this morning and looked into your office but you were not at your desk, (I will miss our usual greetings for lateness), I also kept on looking at the coffee area waiting for you to come for the usual morning coffee but you never did, hmmmm then it dawned on me that this is how it will be from hence forth.....Its a very sad reality that I do not want to wake up to. You have truly inspired me in so many ways, I have learnt so much from you especially on how to manage difficult people.

Abdul Saliu, I bless the day that I met you, you were indeed a rare gem and work will never ever be the same without you to liven up the atmosphere.

May your soul rest in perfect peace.

Adieu my dear friend till we meet again.

CHANGING LIVES!!!!

I saw the movie “Courageous” recently and it opened my eyes to see how as individuals we take the people in our life for granted, thinking that they will always be there and never go away. We never truly show or tell them how much they mean to us, we don’t do things together with them or just basically hang out with them, and we are always too busy and too occupied with our own stuff and in our own world to allow them into our space.

I encourage us to listen to our loved ones when they speak to us or try to communicate to us, most of the time we only hear but we don’t listen to really hear what they are truly saying to us. In the movie Courageous, young Emily asked her dad to dance with her in the parking lot but he was too embarrassed to do so because he believed people will be watching him. Emily was disappointed and danced by herself (he was thinking of what people will say instead of having a moment with his daughter) now little Emily is dead and he lives with the regret of all that he never did with her while she was alive.

We should not allow death or loss be the turning point for us, we should live life to the fullest, enjoy the company of our family while we still can, tell them how much they mean to us while we still can and have the opportunity to do so.

Look for ways to appreciate them for been in your life, even if they are sometimes a pain in your back side, there is still something about them that makes them lovable. See the good in people always, appreciate them openly when they do something good and scold with love when they misbehave, let them be constantly reassured of your love and presence in their life.

I know that as Nigerians it’s difficult for us to express love and affection to our loved ones, we hardly say “I love you” to our spouse, children, parents and siblings.

Always give people the benefit of the doubt, it doesn’t have to start and end with your family or the people in your circle of friends, we all must be responsible for the lives of people we come in contact with everyday of our lives, we need to be positive influencers of lives and adding value to every life we encounter. Let’s not leave any room for regrets in our lives.

Life is good, Live it, Love it and Enjoy it.

ONE NIGHT WITH THE KING

             Four years ago I read this very interesting book “HADESSA” by Tommy Teeny; the book is about the life of Esther, and how she attained her position in the kings palace, it is a very educative and eye opening story that will change the way we think and act towards the king (GOD) of our lives.

          

           This article is about the life of Esther, how she lived her life to the fullest and attained a favored position in another land that was not the place of her birth. It shows how much staying power she had despite the trauma she went through at a very tender age when she witnessed the massacre of her entire family, yet she did not hate God forever, she became a force to be reckoned with, she made a positive impact in the lives of many and she also liberated her people from the bondage they had lived with in a foreign land.

           

           She did not just get to the top by luck, chance or random selection, but because she listened and sought after the most important thing which was to know the heart of the king and also to do whatever will please him, which was not what every other maiden that was chosen for the exercise came for, some came because of the fame it will bring to them and their family, some came for the gifts and wealth they will enjoy for that period, some came just to see and know how it feels to live in the lap of luxury, some came because they thought they had what it took to become the next queen. They all came for what they could get (splendor of the kingdom) out the kingdom and not what they could bring to the king.

          Remember when the bounty room was opened for the maidens to take what they will wear to appear before the king, they were all rushing to pick out the best and heaviest jewelry and clothing, because they knew they get to keep all the things they picked from the bounty room after their night with the king, they were all so selfish and self – centered that they did not even think it right to bring the king a gift except for Esther, who knew that it was a taboo for you to come before the king empty handed, she knew that the night would not be all about her but about bringing praises to the king.

When it was Esther’s turn to meet with the king, she knelt before him and gave him the gift she had picked out, king was very impressed and he remembered her for that single act of thinking to bring the king a gift (even though the gift was of no financial worth to the king), all the other ladies that had gone before her went in empty handed and expecting to come out with something tangible.

         

          We all seem to have lost sight of the most important things, we have truly lost our sense of purpose and service, we have gradually become spiritual gold diggers, and we feel God has put us in a spot to mock us when things don’t follow the path we want them to. We no longer seek the heart of the king, rather we chase after the splendor of his kingdom forgetting the basic truth that once you are the heir of a king, everything he owns becomes yours automatically when you seek to please him. We forget that doing the kings will for just one minute can give us the favor to enjoy a life time of splendor (Selah).

        

           How do we obtain favor from the king? You can only have the kings unmerited favor through real, total and complete worship of the king, the bible says that GOD (king) inhabits the praises of his people, we all know that our GOD is a very jealous God, so he does not find it funny at all when you ignore him to chase after trivial things that can be yours if you know how to get to his heart which is always through real worship.

         In verse 15 of Esther 4, we saw that Esther refused to have anything except what hagai advised her to have, we all know who hagai is, he has been with the king for a very long time, so he understands and knows what will please (get the attention of) the king, which is what Esther sought after, to please the king. Esther refused everything out of the abundance of what was put before her and only desired to do that which will please the king, how many of us can truthfully do that without our greediness for the splendor of the kingdom getting in the way? But Esther did without compromise that was why she attained such goals in life.

          You will find favor with the king when you sincerely seek to please him and do his will, you will also be the first to hear every decision he is about to make for you and for others, just one night with the king can change the entire course of your life, your destiny will be re-written to have a positive impact in your generation and in time to come.

          There was so many ladies that came for the same interview/process that Esther came for, they all had chaperons like she did, but at the end of the whole exercise Esther, was chosen not because she was beautiful or had the right connections, she was chosen because she had a passion for the kingdom and she solely desired to please the king, she followed her chaperons (hagai) instructions to the letter, and because she (Esther) believed that hagai already knows the heart of the king and how to get to it.

          Success is not measured by potential but by how much passion you have for the potential, as long as you are passionate about the things that concerns the king, no matter who hates you, the king will forever love you. For a moment, just forget about the splendor of the kingdom and chase after the heart of the king because that is where the resources you need to attain your God ordained destiny lies.

PHCN SAGA (LIVING IN LAGOS 2)

Hmmmmm PHCN or NEPA as we used to know it is at it again o.

I live in Igbo-Efon area of Lekki, Lagos and for the past 2 weeks we have not seen NEPA lite blink for a second.

We have been speculating on what the cause of the power outage is, so i decided to call a friend that works with PHCN VI, to help me find out what the problem is, since everyone is acting as if its a normal occurence.

I can't even think of how much we have spent in the past weeks running the generator cos I have food (soups and stew) in my freezer that i cannot afford to see them go bad. Another thing is, I must have the tv and at least fan on when I'm at home which is every evening and weekends. Now you have a rough estimate of how much I have spent generating my own power.

My PHCN friend finally called me back that I should brace myself for a long wait cos the under ground cable that supplies power to our end is bad, and that our Atgungi PHCN district have contacted the head quaters cos its not what they can do by themself.

It felt like someone just gave me a huge blow in my mid section, cos this to me seems like its going to be a long wait (and waste of hard earned money on generating my own power). When and how long will it take the head quarters to solve this problem? when do we expect to have power back? Are we in the priority list and what number are we on in the priority list if we are in it? so many questions keep goin back and forth in my head. The cost of living keeps increasing on a daily basis, but our income does not increase on a daily basis.... people are been fired from their jobs daily, some poeple are taking a pay cut just to keep their jobs, now we have this huge bill in front of us: we pay rent annually (this happens only in Nigeria) cos every other place I have been to; rent is paid monthly, pay kids school fees, buy food and suplies that are not cheap, generate your own power, buy cloths, pay medical bills, things just keeps cropping up.

With all this happening to you, you're expected to still keep a good attitude, smile and wave at everyone as if nothing is going on........damn...... Nigerians are the most resilient people I have ever seen or met cos trust me if our conterparts in the US & UK go through 20% of what we see as normal life, they will all commit suicide.......most times I just think to myself that God has indeed been gracious to us as Nigerians, we have developed thick skins cos all we do is just complain about it for a while and then move on (what's next?).

I have a strong believe that some day soon, all this will be a thing of the past.......If not for the Lord who has been on our side...............(complete the statement)

Cheers guys and have a good day.

TALKING IN PICTURES

Cloudy day in Jo'burg South Africa

My Visit to Old Trafford

Spanish Lunch @ Old Traford Mall

Road trip to Warri, Delta State, Nigeria

More pictures in the future.

LIVING IN LAGOS!!!

In this day and age I wonder how most people survive with the cost of living in Lagos. How have we been able to make life worth living and having the basic necessities of life?

Now I am beginning to understand that for you to succeed in this part of town you must have the right partnership either in marriage or in business.

Rent in Lagos is not cheap at all, in most cases your one month salary can’t even pay your rent for one year (it has always been my mindset that 1 month salary should pay 1 year rent) and you are yet to add feeding, clothing, transportation, diesel/fuel for the generator (as there is never power from phcn), toll charges (for those of us in the Lekki area), fuel subsidy, school fees e.t.c.

You ask yourself how will a single parent with 3 children survive, or how will a bachelor or spinster survive with all this bills hanging around their neck? And we all want to live a decent life in a good upscale neighborhood, so our kids can mix with the right kind of people.

This is the major reason why a man will definitely want to marry a successful woman (a proper helpmeet) because he cannot pay the bills alone; he needs support to be able to survive living in Lagos, since we are not as lucky as our foreign counterparts that work 2 to 3 jobs to make ends meet, here 1 job takes your whole day and at the end of it all the end does not justify the means..

I understand that most people have hit the jackpot and don’t seem to be fazed or have no clue about what I am talking about, this topic is not for you; I am talking about those in the middle and low class.

Most of us went to public schools in our growing up days but we can’t even send our kids to public schools now because the standard of public education in Nigeria has fallen to zero%.

Nothing seem to work anymore, you need to develop a thick skin to live in this times, and we are the bravest people I know on planet earth cos no matter what we go through, we still keep a good attitude and always hope on things to turn around even if it takes years.

Family vacation is now a luxury that so many cannot even think about, but we believe that one day we will definitely take that trip. Our faith and Hope is all we have to help us through all the tough times, so let’s keep them ALIVE for someday soon there will be a manifestation.

Keep the peace and stay on top.  

THE LIFE OF A CAREER MUM

Hello peeps,

I'm glad to be back, been away on maternity leave......(big wide grin on my face now). My last post was on the 5th of March and my bundle of joy arrived on the 7th, God has indeed been faithful and awesome in my life.....

Hmmmm my topic says "The Life of a Career Mum". It is indeed amazing how your life make a 360 degree turn once there is a baby in the picture, because all of a sudden you are no longer thinking about you and your spouse alone, there is a very small human that suddenly demands a 110% of your time and attention.

In some cases if you are not careful, you tend to ask yourself how you arrived at this phase without been prepared. Trust me nothing prepared me for this and I have always been actively involved in the lives of my nieces and nephews but this is a whole new ball game cos its mine 100% so I cant take a break for a second.

During my maternity leave, thanks to my mum (God bless her plenty) I matured and learned very fast, I am more patient and always think about the concequences of any action before I carry it out.  In the last weeks of my leave, it was very difficult to comprehend the idea of leaving my 3 months old baby to go back to work......it did give me sleepless nights because i was faced with either hiring an elderly live-In Nanny to care for him or drop him off at a Creche every morning on my way to work.

It was indeed a tough decision cos i had to sample opinions of working mum's too that have had to make such decisions in the past and majority of them did the Creche drop off and are satisfied with the idea.

My major concern is that as i was growing up, my mum was always there cos she ran her own business and always takes me along as a baby to wherevere she was going for her meetings or appointment, but in my day I cant even take my son to work becos my company does not have a Creche facility.......now I am faced with the option of leaving my son to COMPLETE strangers for the long hours I'll be at work.

I have actually decided to make peace with the idea and trust God more to protect my son and surround him with loving, patient and generous people.

I know there are other mums out there that feel the same way, let's share our experiences and learn one or two things from each other.

WHERE IS OUR SAFE HAVEN?

Hey guys,

Today we are discussing a very sad topic and something that is gradually becoming the order of the day in our society.....

I wept as I listened to Chaz B’s Sharing Life Issues on Inspiration fm and the topic of discussion was “Incest”.  I still shudder with goose bumps on my arms as I write this article. This is the kind of things that we read in the papers as they only happen in the western world “or maybe it used to happen here and people don’t speak much about it”. We are definitely used to hearing of cousins, uncles, e.t.c sexually abusing the younger wards that they are responsible for protecting.

I remember growing up as a child in my family home; I felt so much peace, comfort and love from my parents, this is exactly how every child should feel, your home should be a safe haven for you, but the topic of discussion on the Chaz B show has shattered that believe for me.

Now we have fathers raping and abusing their own daughters to the extent of sending them to an early grave, as I listened to this confessions on the radio, I kept staring at my little nieces and I wept uncontrollably as to who would want to hurt such angelic, beautiful and innocent creatures, how could a fathers mind be so twisted and perverted that he would go as far as destroying the very thing he is supposed to be protecting?

I tremble just thinking about this because I can’t even imagine the excruciating pains these very tender children must constantly live with; I know I had a very sheltered upbringing; I grew up seeing my father as a pillar of strength and protection that each time he had to go on a business trip, I hardly slept at night because I used to be scared that something may happen at night in his absence, but when he’s back I feel very safe and secure again my home was my safe haven and it still happens till this day even though I am in my thirties.

So I think to myself, children of the 21^st century should have a right to sheltered lives as well, their homes should be their safe haven and their fathers should be the protector, defender and the mini god that they see. But all these have changed due to the wickedness in the heart of men and the twisted mind that these men have, because now you don’t struggle to protect your children from abuse by uncles, cousins, house helps and the likes but you now protect them from their own fathers, how twisted can this be? If these little girls have been constantly abused by their own fathers, what is next for them, what kind of life are they expected to live, who do they turn to for love and protection, who will fight for them, who will soothe their souls, who will mend their broken hearts, what kind of women will they become in the future if they survive this abuse???? All these and many more questions are going riot in my head as I write.

It is obvious that we are in the end times where it was predicted that strange things will happen and indeed a lot of strange things have been happening around us, but this for me is the height of it all.

My biggest question now is; what will make a father commit such disdainful act with his own daughter, what pleasure does he intend to derive from the act? We discussed this in my office and most people think it is for the purpose of ritual for either wealth or political influence while others think it is simply because the man is sick in the head and should be confined in a mental clinic, which ever school of thought we decide to go with, the truth still remains that something is terribly wrong somewhere, if a child doesn’t feel safe and protected at home where does she turn to, if her father cannot protect her, who will? What becomes of the mothers/wives that find themselves in this situation also what becomes of those that are currently not in this situation? Should they be overly protective of their daughters and cautious/suspicious of their husband’s relationship to their own daughters?

It is indeed a very sad truth that lives in our society, we all have to pay close attention to our little girls but then again how careful can you be? May God help us and protect our children from the wickedness of a perverted mind.

HOW DIFFICULT IS IT; REALLY??? (Written Jan 2010)

Seriously for some time now I have been trying to understand all the hassles that one have to go through in choosing a life partner, how complicated can it really get? You may ask, is it not just to pick out one man/woman depending on your gender out of over a million people you must have met in your life to become partners in marriage? Recently I have come to realize that it goes beyond that and it becomes harder as you grow older in age and experience. Then again you may wonder, is it just me or does it happen to everyone. Why do I have to struggle to come into Gods promise for my life? Did the bible not say “he that finds a good wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from God? “  so why must my own case be different because I know I am definitely a good thing  or  I’m I paying for something I have done wrong in the past? So many questions go through your mind and you even ask yourself if you are good enough for God to give you any of His sons/daughters, you keep living in constant fear and anticipation of what it will actually be like to finally find the right person. Hence the question, ‘is there really the right person?” you may be waiting for the right person to swing by meanwhile a lot of great people have been coming your ways and you refuse to give them the time of day because you are “looking for the right person”. But hey it’s time to smell the coffee, change your mindset and do keep an open mind for the next person that may come by.

I will use myself as a typical example, I have been trying to get myself married for the past six years but I have not been able to accomplish that due to the fact that I have been trying to do it on my own without the God factor, also I have been waiting for the perfect person mean while a lot of people have come and gone but I see one reason or the other why not to pursue a relationship with them, according to my friend God will not come down from heaven to point out your spouse to you. I have read all kinds of books there is to read about finding a partner, how to choose a partner e.t.c. I have also followed all the examples given in these books, I have learned how to cook all sorts of dishes both African and Continental that I now give lessons to my friends that is about to marry or already married, I have learned how to be a home maker in fact I am a wife in the waiting or as my very good friend will say “Material” and you can also call me a marriage counselor because of the knowledge I have gained from reading all these books on marriage but since late last year I decided to give it all to God and let him sort me out, and things really started happening differently. From November 2009 till date I have had two suitors though I am yet to find the right one (you see I’m still looking out for the right one) but it makes me know and understand that I am in a whole new level now, like pastor Kola Oladumoye preached  some time that a woman should have options A, B and C, so I’ve had A & B so C is going to be a done deal (I hope so) but don’t count on it because your option A or B may just be the one. Also do not rule out the fact that as a single lady the older you get the greater the pressure as menopause is fast approaching so we see a potential husband in every innocent guy that just as much as says hello to you, then temptation sets in thereby leading to frustration and depression.

It is really hard to make the right decision after you have waited for so long, you may want to jump into marriage with any man/woman that happens along the way just because you have been praying about it so you think God has finally sent you someone even if the person lacks the fruits of a husband (he’s probably a mummy’s boy that still needs breast feeding), does and acts contrary to your beliefs, you still jump into it because you want to get married, you come to the conclusion that this is the person that God has sent your way and it must be the right person, forgetting the power that He gave to us “he who finds, finds a good thing” so you have the power to really search to find and when you find you have to sift because trust me you are going to find all sorts and you will have to live with whoever you finally choose so be wise and sift wisely not emotionally or with the age clock ticking away in your head.

We can say that finding is quite easy but sifting to know who is really meant for you is where the real problem is, understand this, I’m sure you have a list of all the qualities you want in a partner, if you are like me the list is very long more than twenty in number, and for the past years I have been working with that list, I eventually came to the understanding that I am looking to marry a mortal being, not a human being. Thank God for good friends in my life, I was discussing it with a friend who asked me what the real issue is, why I’m still single at this age even though  I’m a very good person with all these positive qualities, so I told her my criteria ( list of 20 qualities) for judging people, she looked at me long and hard and said I don’t need all that, what I truly need to do is make a list of the things that I cannot compromise for anything, explaining how it is not possible to find that twenty characters in one person except I am looking to get married to God or a supreme being, that for me is wisdom and an eye opener so I applied it to my own situation by making a new list and found out that out of twenty, I only have five major things that cant be compromised, my number one is “the person must be totally sold out to God” remember the bible says we should not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. This new list actually gave me hope that all things are possible because now I have seen option A and B, but they are not what I am looking. You may want to know what I meant by “they are not what I am looking for” its easy because I know what I want out of life, I know where I see myself in the next five years and I know the kind of family I want to raise, so I must find someone that fits into that picture then we can work on other things together no compromise at all.

Looking back now I can say that it is not really difficult but we have complicated issues for ourselves by setting some standards that can’t be met by human, we need to get our priorities in order, cos that will make the search a lot easier than it looks.

So ladies and gents please take a hint and narrow your search down to the barest minimum, you will be doing yourself a lot of good if you do. But if you don’t agree with my view, you are welcome to share your own opinion on this matter.

cheers and do have a fab day........

LADIES BEWARE!!!

This is indeed a tough one for me to comprehend as I still cannot fathom the extent to which a full grown healthy man can go to extract some good money out of an innocent, unsuspecting and most times desperate single lady.

It has become the order of the day for all kinds of atrocities to happen in our society and the church is not left out as it is the best place now to carry out these acts all in the name of been a Christian, that is why it is very essential to Know God and the word of God for yourself, understand His principles and timings as we have so many men/women acting the part but have an end game; this is my story as it happened to me; hence the need to educate my fellow single ladies.

I attend one of the very popular and fast growing churches in the city of Lagos, been there for a very long time and have given up the hope of marrying from there as my thinking was that most of these guys have actually confirmed their insecurity because most of the single ladies in the same age brackets as these guys are better off financially, so they are afraid to even start up a conversation in most cases due to the fear of rejection. As a result of this, I decided to start visiting other churches and one of these churches won my heart by the way and manner they conduct things and I decided to stick with it for a while.

Sometime in February I decided to go for the second service instead of the usual first service that I attend (of this new church I discovered), I came in early and decided to sit in the car for a while just to while away time, I was there for sometime before a metallic color Toyota Rav 4 came and parked beside me, I stepped out of the car and started walking towards the church building; as I walked I heard someone call out excuse me, I turned and it was the guy that had just parked beside me, he walked up to me and introduced himself as Kingsley Anyanwu (this was the names he gave me so I’m not sure if its real), works with Schlumberger as a rig engineer, was transferred to Lagos from Port Harcourt last December and is looking for a church to identify with, so it was his first time visiting the church.  I smiled and put out my hand for a hand shake, introduced myself, welcomed him to church and told him that he’s at the right place.

After service he asked me to have lunch with him, I suggested we go to the food court at “The Palms” (just for us to be in the open crowd incase if he’s a serial killer). After lunch, we talked freely like old friends that was just catching up on lost times to the extent that we knew almost everything about each other in that one hour, afterwards we exchanged numbers and went our separate ways and I didn’t hear from him again until a week to my birthday he called to ask if we could have dinner on my birthday, I said it was ok since I had broken up with the guy I was dating earlier in the year so I was single at that time and had nothing planned for my birthday. We decided to meet and have dinner in one of the restaurants in Ikoyi by 7pm; I arrived the venue at exactly 7pm and called him from the car, he said he was running late as he was coming from the mainland (that was when my suspicion began, if you are coming from the mainland at that time you will obviously be driving against traffic so why will he say he was stuck in traffic?), while I waited we exchanged a few text messages and the final one was for me to come to his house instead as he doesn’t know when he will be out of the traffic, needless to say how angry and furious I was at this time, I told him I was sorry that I cannot go to his house as I do not know him well enough so I went home angry, irritated and disappointed on my birthday.

He did not respond to my text neither did he call me back, this went on for a few weeks. I decided he wasn’t worth the space on my phone contact list and deleted his number as I do not want to be tempted to ever call him. 3 days after I deleted him from my phone, he called to say that he has been away on rig assignment and is back in Lagos and wants to have lunch, (fast forward 3 lunch dates and a movie date) we were back to been best of friends and he has asked me out and I was still checking him out to be sure he was real as I met him randomly.

One faithful Friday night he called to say he was attacked by armed robbers on the third mainland bridge and they made away with his laptop, cash, ATM cards and other valuable items, and since it was a weekend that he needed some cash to do stuff. At first a bell went off in my head and I asked him why his phone wasn’t stolen as well, he stuttered a bit and said he hid the phone from then, I decided to that his response with a pinch of salt.

Fast forward 3 weeks from that day he called to say he was on the verge of closing a deal with an agent, he wanted to buy a land where he will build a house for us to live in and asked me if I would like to live in Gbagada as that was where he’s negotiating the purchase of the land. He said he needed me to pay =N=50,000.00 naira into his GTBank account as he has issued the agent a cheque of 9million naira and his bank manager told him he needs to leave at least =N=50,000.00 in his account. That was when the second alarm bell went off in my head, I told him to structure the payment with the agent that by the end of the month he should have enough in his account to settle the bills. This said he didn’t call me for another 2 weeks, when he finally did, he said he had an accident and needed some money to sort out the hospital bills as GTBank is having network challenges at that particular time, I called my friend that works for the same bank and she confirmed otherwise, so I called him back to say I use GTBank as well and do not have access to my cash as we were both experiencing network failure (nice one huh??). I think he figured I was too wise to be conned so he stopped calling me and his phone (07035780749) has been off till this day, he probably just bought the sim to use on me.

Don’t get me wrong, I did not just become wise in one day, I have fallen victim a few times so now my radar is up and active, each time I meet a guy and he says hello, I read a million and one meanings into the hello to see if it’s sincere or has an agenda attached to it. The truth is that it is a very funny and uncomfortable way of living but it’s not what I do by choice, it’s as a result of what I have experienced in my race as a devoted Christian and in my journey of finding true and real love. My very close friend decided that it was time I made a movie out of my life story as regards to relationships and I said why limit it to just a movie why not write a book also and we started sampling titles, now we have settled for the title “The Journey” and have started working on it so watch out for this space.

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THE JOURNEY (Written May 2010)

Hey Peeps,

Welcome to my blog and I hope you will pop in everyday if its not too much to ask of you....
I created this blog as an avenue for me to let out all the steam in my life, and the perfect caption is what you see as the title, hmmm in this my very young life I have seen and experienced so much as regards relationships that I now feel like a life coach (phew......story for another day).

What broke the camels back was what happened earlier in the year, hmmm my people I went through a major shake that I still do not know how I survived it (will publish the story soon); I could not even cry because my heart, mind and body have become shock proof to the extent that I kept on asking myself, why I'm I not crying or why haven't I sunk into depression? that was when I knew how strong I have become as a woman.....and dare I say I am mighty proud of myself...

Recently I was having lunch at Southern Sun with my very close friend and the topic for discussion as always was my relationship or the lack of one, jokingly she said that in my search for a life partner I have gathered enough experiences along the way to make a movie out of it and i thought why do a movie when i can write a book (and it will surely be a best seller).........a light just went off in my head and I asked myself why the thought of writing a book havent crossed my mind yet and this got me thinking seriously, we sat down together and started brainstorming for a title of the book and we made a list of every guy that have passed through my life in the name of a boy friend/potential hubby.........and we settled on "The Journey" as the title of the book (nice one huh?).

I have started putting a few notes together and I hope to be done before the end of 2013. But as time goes on I will be dropping a few hints as to how the journey began from when I had my very first boyfriend (at the age of 29, yeah I had a very sheltered life and that's story for another day).

We are in for a long and interesting ride so brace yourself, all you need do is just stick to this blog and I promise you there will never be a dull moment (wink wink) so let The Journey begin......................

Cheers guys and do have a fab day........