Friday, 13 September 2013

Men of Courage

Hello beautiful people of the federal republic, how has it been with you guys?

Welcome to a new month and yes we have entered the …….ember months… the year just started yesterday and here we are in September already…phew…..the Lord that has led us this far will continue to keep us…….

For the longest time I have wanted to write something about the Father figures in our lives and the opportunity is finally here. Who is a father? What is expected of him? What are his obligations to the entire household? It is quite alarming that not every man that has birthed a child earns the right to be called a father…….uhummm that’s very true.

The English dictionary defines a father as a male who sires and often raises a child, a male donator of sperm which resulted in conception or fertilization. If you ask me I think there’s more to been a father than just been a sperm donor especially in these days where we have a lot of sperm banks….yeah you can actually get babies off the shelf.

For you to earn the right to be called a father, you have to be available to act as one by supporting and nurturing the child that you have sired. Most often than none you really don’t have to be the sperm donor to act in that capacity. Some men are truly called to be fathers and to raise a generation of God fearing children.

I read somewhere a while back that a father is a boy’s first hero and a daughter’s first love……..thinking about it now it’s actually very true because I have seen a few little girls that wants to marry their daddies and little boys that think their dad can handle everything……….look for their trouble and they tell you with all boldness that their dad (hero) will come for you…..and you better run.

As a man what are you doing to shape/impact the lives of your kids or the kids around you? What impact do your character, attitude, behavior and general outlook on life have on these kids? Do you have or make time for them? Do you know your kids or do they know you? On a scale of 1 – 10 how can you rate your value to your kids?

I understand you have to work very hard to put food on the table, pay the rent and bills, generally cater for the family and you are truly doing a good job of it but nothing can fill the void that is left in the life of your child…….24 hours is never enough but my dear you must make time to truly be a father…..don’t leave it all to the mother, there is a part that you need to play and no one can do it better than you.

You as a man really need to be careful of how you act and what you say in the presence of your kids, as they assimilate and digest your actions and see it as the norm….so if you are a man that fear God and live according to His will, your kids too will tow that path. I have a live example in my home, my 18 months old son knows now that you must kneel down before you pray simply because from when he turned 12 months daddy always tells him to kneel down whenever we want to pray, he knows where the family alter is and anytime you say let’s pray he runs to his own corner and starts screaming in his unclear syllables kneel down and Amen.

I recently saw a movie “Courageous” in the movie this group of men come together to take an oath, make vows/pledges and signed documents on how to be the father that their children need, I was so moved by this movie and how these men took it upon themselves to stand up for their families and always do the right thing no matter what, eventually one of the men fell along the way due to the fact that it is not easy to be a real man with a clean slate in the times we live in . It takes a man of integrity to stay steadfast in the face of adversity……………….but thank God for the other guys that stayed focused and true to the course.

Another thing is you cannot tell a child to do A and you are seen doing B openly, it will never work as they must always do what they see you doing. So if you are aggressive in the wrong ways or abusive either verbally or physically, they see it as normal and tend to do the same. In this case there must be consistency with our words and actions.

What kind of words do you speak to your kids? Are they words that will make or mar them? What kind of seeds are you sowing in them? Are they seeds that will yield good fruits or set them in the path of destruction?

How many men will stand up with their shoulders held up high and vouch that they have never at any time in their lives compromised their beliefs just to make ends meet? Sadly the campaign for a life of Integrity has been swept under the carpet; people look at you strangely when you insist on doing things in the right and appropriate way. They call you all sorts of names because you have principles that you abide by. Your kids are watching and learning from you, they know far more than you give them credit for especially in this day of technology……….you have to be the strong voice that your child hears. 

Most fathers of today didn’t have very good examples or role models while growing up, but that should not be a limiting factor cos there are a lot of opportunities available to you to make it right now. You can choose a mentor from the great examples that exist now.

It’s never too late to make 360 degrees turn as long as you are turning away from the negative, you can still make it work with your kids, all it takes is a step, make that commitment today and have someone checkmate you constantly to keep you on the path.

The seed you sow in the kids today will be the defining center for their future and generation, so wisdom is essential while dealing with them.

I have to stop here for today; you are welcome to leave your comments and contributions.

Cheers and stay fabulous……